Yesterday Andy and I celebrated one whole year of marriage. 365 days. 525,600 minutes (how do you measure…measure a yeeeeeeeeear). A LOT of seconds; I’m not going to calculate exactly how many because math.
One whole year ago we posed for this gorgeous picture, which is hands down one of my favorites from our wedding day.
We celebrated all weekend long, with romantic dinners at great restaurants, Shakespeare in the park and lots and lots of wine. Amen. I’d like to think that I’ve learned a little sumthin’ sumthin’ over this year about marriage (though this blog is proof positive that I could stand to learn a lot more…) But today I decided to share with you some of the most important lessons I learned in my first year as a missus.
…The little flag on the mailbox is meant for sending mail. It is not a friendly gesture to the mailman. See also: I am extremely gullible. Okay, so this pearl of marital wisdom was more so a joke, but it’s still something I learned while being married to Andrew so it counts.
…Let go of the little stuff, also known as pick your battles. Seriously. Irritated that your husband dropped the grungy washcloth he used to clean the grill into your sparkling clean sink? Let it go. It’s not worth fighting over. If it won’t matter in five years, it’s not worth your time being pissy about.
…I cook it, you eat it. Those are the rules. That being said, it’s also important that I take into consideration my husband’s lactose intolerance, and maybe restrain myself to including only one cup of shredded cheddar in our scrambled eggs instead of three.
…Just because you’re married doesn’t mean your individual hobbies stop. Writing a novel? Kicking ass in your new video game? Living it up at separate happy hours with your respective groups of friends? You do you, honey. See you at home later.
…You don’t have to spend every waking moment together. There were several times at the beginning of marriage when we didn’t want to watch what the other was watching on TV, or Andy wanted to play video games, or I wanted to drink wine alone take a bubble bath or something. Both of us were all, “…is this okay? Is our marriage okay? Shouldn’t we want to press our faces up together all smushy like and also never leave each other’s side?!” And friends, let me tell you, yes, it is okay. Your marriage is okay. It’s okay to not be all smushy and joined at the hip every moment of every day, so long as there are indeed SOME moments where you feel all smushy and together and now this is getting sexual so I’m done with this one.
…Don’t be so serious. Life is a lot more fun if you can laugh when the other person farts at inappropriate times.
…When you get married you become one half of a brand new team, the most important team in your life. Turns out I’m…not…I’m not always…UGH fine I’ll say it, I’m not always right. (There you go Hess, you’ve got it in writing.) Disagreements become SO MUCH MORE PRODUCTIVE when you both realize you are on the same team, and therefore are fighting with the same goal in mind: to learn from this and use it to make your relationship better, stronger.
…Oh and also pro tip: that Vent/Fan button attached to your microwave? That’s important. Turn that baby on or else your dinner situation will erupt into screaming sirens of chaos faster than you can say “Is something burning?”
…Hess, if you’re reading this – I love you more than you know. I’m so glad we get to do life together. Cheers to many, many more.
—The Wife in Training