Well well well, look who showed up to class today. Wife in Training? Present. It’s Monday so I guess if I want to call myself a lifestyle blogger I should tell you about my life…style? Is that how this works? Okay then. Now is the part where I tell you about my weekend so grab a mimosa and let’s get cozy.
I finished reading Divergent on Friday night (because I’m the cool kid that stays home reading teen science fiction on Friday nights) and woooooow. I know I’m only about three years late to this book party, and holy amazing I love it. I was fully prepared to hate this book because everyone kept comparing it to Hunger Games, which I hated (sorry). As far as I can tell, the only similarity between the two books is that they’re both set in a futuristic, dystopian society and they both have humans in them. I tried to imagine which faction I’d be in. Abnegation is out, I’m nowhere near friendly or compassionate enough. Erudite…maybe not. I’d lose my mind if I had to hang out in a silent library for the rest of my life. Plus that whole revolutionary-blood-mongrel thing is just not a good look. Candor…no, just no. Dauntless? Maybe, I do tend to be a little aggressive and ‘tude-y. I think Amity and its hyper-social members are my best bet. Anyway, I got to the end of the book and was all:
Oh, also, Juliette informed me that it is in fact part of a trilogy and THAT’S why it ended so abruptly…it all makes sense now. Tris and Tobias better get it on in the next one or I’m done with books forever. Also I kind of feel like if I don’t get to watch the movie ohemgeelikeNOW I might actually die.
Saturday Andy and I went over to his parents’ house to lay out and relax by the pool. They’re out of town for the summer, so it was like having our own private pool. It was the best thing ever and I never wanted to leave.
Oh and then there was this one time where I was trying to make a potato salad for our family Father’s Day lunch, except I was trying to make it late on Saturday night because we spent our whole day getting sunburned swimming and working on my tan while listening to Divergent. Moral of the story I went to a shady as all get out Kroger and it was dark outside and I got distracted by the whole trying-not-to-get-murdered thing and they didn’t even ring up my potatoes. I went home potato-less. All that life-risking and potato danger was for naught, I had to buy more damn potatoes the next morning. More on this potato salad later though because it was probably one of the most delicious things I’ve ever put into my mouth hole. Did I just waste an entire paragraph talking about potato salad? I did. Did you read it? I’m sorry. Let’s talk about beer now.
I drank Shiner Ruby Redbird for the first time ever this weekend and other than aforementioned potato salad, I never want to put anything other than this in my mouth hole ever ever ever.
Was I the only one screaming at the TV during #GoT “THAT’S NOT IN THE BOOK THAT’S NOT IN THE BOOK THAT’S NOT IN THE BOOK HAVE THEY EVER EVEN MET GEORGE R.R. MARTIN?!” See also: I need to be medicated. I was also screaming at AT&T Uverse because our TV kept freezing. A couple bitch tweets and delayed-by-six-hours-corporate-response later, I’m pretty sure I’m on some kind of list over at AT&T headquarters.
Also this weekend something called the World Cup is going on and my husband cares about it a lot so I guess I’m supposed to care about it and bring him beer and stuff? Idk. Too busy re-reading Divergent.
One last thing before I end this word vomit of a post. My hair is looking really fantastic today, and for the first time ever I wish I knew how to vlog so you could see proof.
The end goodbye.
—The Wife in Training