Hello friends and happy Wednesday! I would usually make a joke here about hump day (teeheehee) and that obnoxious camel from tv, but I am very tired and can’t be bothered to find the gif. So let’s all just pretend that I’ve said something devastatingly clever, and laugh at the mental image we all carry of the hump day camel, ready? Hahahahaha. There. Perfect.
So what’s been going on with me recently, you ask? Oh you know, just the same old, same old. Some writing, some book revising, some cooking and some wine drinking. Over the weekend (hey, I can still talk about my weekend on a Wednesday, right?) I also did some Golden Globes watching and even a little bit of some husband’s-shirts ironing. What can I say, my life is riveting.
Monday I got to hang out with THIS GIRL and it was amazing. If you’re not reading Natalie’s blog I basically don’t even know what you’re doing with your life because girlfriend is hilarious. She took me to a burger joint in Fort Worth where they put goat cheese on my burger, gave me something called moontang (it only *sounds* like you’re going to get roofied….I totally didn’t though) and also brought us a mountain of cheesy, gooey deliciousness by way of cheese fries. I haven’t had cheese fries since middle school for some horrible, unknown reason, but Natalie very quickly retaught me the importance of having such a culinary delicacy in my life on the reg. I’m actually eating cheese fries right now, as I type this.
Tuesday night I went to see my friend Abby and we watched The Bachelor while drinking wine and eating a delicious salad that also had goat cheese (do you notice the pattern?). Her cat, Boss, joined us too. He pretended like he didn’t care about the show, though I caught him checking out Prince Farming more than once. It’s okay Boss, this is a safe space. Can we all just take a minute to talk about onion-loving Ashley and her extraordinary lunacy? What kind of hallucinogen is she on, and where can I get some? No, that would be wrong. I didn’t mean it, Mom. But for real, between all the onion chatter and the endless “This place looks like Mesa Verde” and also the “You…..have to…..truth, find….find your own….find your own truth,” girlfriend has got to be higher than the entire collective population of Colorado. I am afraid for Prince Farming’s safety.
Now, lest you think I’m some kind of husband-abandoning harlot, allow me to assure you that that is not the case. Andy has simply entered into the throes of accounting busy season, rendering me what I like to call a “seasonal accounting widow.” He goes to work early and comes home late, and I’m left with no husband to play with. Therefore I fill my evenings with lovely friends.
Since we’re on the subject of rambling, who wants to talk about a problem I’m having with my car? Good, perfect, I knew you would. So since it’s been so cold outside, I’ve noticed my tank of gas lasts nowhere near as long as it used to. Is this normal? I asked Andy and he said actually yes, because my tires are inflating and deflating slightly with the extreme temperature, thus causing my gas to be used less efficiently. Am I alone in this problem? This is ridiculous. I really identify the true reason, but I am very disappointed. I bet Crazy Ashley and her onions are to blame, somehow.
I also recently bought this wonderful coffee mug off the internet for too many dollars and I’ve gotta say, best choice I’ve ever made.
That’s all the end I love you goodbye.
—The Wife in Training