Thoughts I Can’t Share on Social Media

There are some lines in life that you just don’t cross. So I’m crossing them on my blog.
 

  • The word “moist” does not elicit any extremely negative emotions or reactions for me, personally.
  • I’ve never watched Breaking Bad, I think it might be too scary for me.
  • Who really cares about the flat white?
  • I’ve never tried a single workout I have pinned on my Health and Fitness board. I have, however, cooked and consumed a large percentage of the items on Naughty Noms.
  • I don’t know how to stage an Instagram photo. (Is it really worth it? Am I missing out on something big?)
  • Sometimes I prefer staying at home and working on my book to going out in public and dealing with other humans.
  • But seriously, why would anyone eat quinoa when they could eat tacos…
  • Is it bad if I like my cats better than I like most people?
  • No, I don’t want to go to pure barre with you. Or any fitness class, for that matter.
  • I’m not entirely sure what washi tape is, or what to do with it. Can I get it at my sushi place? Do you eat it?
  • Speaking of eating, eating Nutella is not a religious experience for me. In fact, you can have my share. (But if you come near my cheese board I. will. cut. you.)
  • Blanket scarves look like they’d give me hot flashes, and are a bit overwhelming to me due to the sheer amount of fabric involved. I’m not particularly interested in wearing one.

 

I hope we can still be friends.
—The Wife in Training

18 Comments

  • Reply January 16, 2015

    Molly

    Also not a fan of nutella so I feel you on that one. There are so many other things I would prefer to use my calories on.

    • Reply January 16, 2015

      admin

      Like wine.

  • Reply January 16, 2015

    Allie

    While I agree with you on 95% of these, I can’t with the blanket scarf. Sure, I can probably only wear it like 3 days out of the entire year because The South, but it’s still looks pretty AND I got mine buy one get one 50% off so it was like $20 total.

    • Reply January 16, 2015

      admin

      Okay well 50% off is a pretty darn good deal so I guess I’ll allow it.

  • Oh my God I love you so incredibly much.

    Nutella on its own is MEH. But let me put it in a warm crescent for you and you’ll change your mind I SWEAR.

    Also I don’t own a blanket scarf but watching other people wear them does give me claustrophobia. I can barely wear a regular scarf without dying.

    Also WTF EVEN IS A FLAT WHITE? Like a more basic latte? For $4?!?! ARE THEY HIGH?

    • Reply January 16, 2015

      admin

      I will allow you to put Nutella in a warm crescent roll for me. I will allow that.

      THE FLAT WHITE IS EXPENSIVE *AND* HAS A STUPID NAME?! I cannot abide.

  • whenever i go bowling, my name on the screen is always “moist.” always.

    • Reply January 16, 2015

      admin

      Ummm I want to go bowling with you. But only if you’ll let me use bumpers.

  • Haha I agree with nutella, cats > people, and naughty noms….I’m glad we crossed these lines together lol Sometimes I wonder why more people don’t agree with us…probably b/c they’re the weird ones.

    • Reply January 16, 2015

      admin

      The people who don’t agree with us are just plain wrong.

  • Reply January 17, 2015

    Juliette

    YES I WILL EAT YOUR NUTELLA. But I also want some cheese. I just heard about the flat white this week and I do NOT understand how it’s any different from a latte… apparently it’s the ratio of milk to espresso or something, but my lattes always have syrup in them sooooo there’s no way I’m ever buying a flat white. And I love my blanket scarf and I wear it ALL THE TIME SO THERE. Love you bye.

    • Reply January 20, 2015

      admin

      We can eat cheese together while you wear your blanket scarf. It will be so great. And also the closest I ever come to having the blanket scarf on my person.

  • Reply January 19, 2015

    shannon @ gin & bare it

    wear a blanket scarf while sitting at home on your couch eating cheese.
    it will change your life.

    • Reply January 20, 2015

      admin

      How about just the second half of that? Cheese changes lives. Specifically goat cheese.

  • Reply January 19, 2015

    Faith

    I just cannot do the blanket scarf. I feel like it would kick my claustrophobia into overdrive.
    But honestly, I agree with you on basically every single one of these… I knew we were friends for a reason ;)

    • Reply January 20, 2015

      admin

      #TripletPower

  • Reply January 19, 2015

    Kalyn

    I’ve never liked hazelnut so nutella doesn’t blow up my skirt. Cheese platter though, yes please! I’ll bring the wine!

    • Reply January 20, 2015

      admin

      GOOD COME OVER NOW.

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