The Very Worst Friday In The History Of Fridays

Once upon a time in a far away (or not so far away, it’s not like I know the exact geographic coordinates of your house or memorized the exact make and model of your car or installed a tracking device in your cell phone so I can tell when you’re home or not, that would be weird… *nervous laugh*) there came a Friday, the most enchanted day of the week. But this Friday was unlike many others, this Friday was dark. Cold. Dreary.

This Friday was evil.

It began like any other Friday. I rose with the sun and didn’t complain about sleep deprivation even a little bit as I went about my morning routine showering, applying my makeup and styling my hair. I collected items for lunch, then hopped into the car and headed to work.

I arrived at work to a quiet office, as I am usually the first one there. I went about my business organizing my to-do list for the day and starting in on some projects. People started to trickle in, and despite the gloomy clouds overhead we all seemed to share the unspoken excitement that every Friday carries, knowing that a weekend full of freedom and promise was only a few short hours away.

All of a sudden someone shouted, “Look! It’s snowing!” And look we all did. Our team of marketing professionals gathered at the window, enchanted by the white fluff falling from the sky. It was truly magical. Now, lest you forget, I live in Texas and we get snow at somewhere along the same frequency as Hell does. So this snow was a big deal.

After a while we noticed the snow seemed to, in fact, be sticking to the roads. Cool, we thought, if it’s sticking here it must be at our houses too – that means we get a winter wonderland weekend! After a little while longer we noticed the highway traffic near our building begin to slow. Less cool, traffic is a pain in the collective universe’s ass. After even a bit longer still we noticed that all local news stations were reporting freezing accumulation on the roads, dropping temperatures and approximately infinity automobile accidents on any and every road in the greater Dallas-Fort Worth area. Cue panic mode.

The entire city of Dallas flew into a unison panic, vacating office buildings and taking to the roads in a desperate effort to seek shelter in the safety of their homes – because snow in Dallas means the apocalypse is undoubtedly mere minutes away.

Call it naiveté or stubbornness, I don’t care, but I for one remained blasé, undaunted by the imminent doom the Dallas snow posed. Everyone knows that driving on snow is much easier than driving on ice, which I had managed to do successfully no fewer than three times in the previous two weeks. Unconcerned Lindsay was unconcerned, and went merrily about her way working.

Until, that is, a manager in my department came around and informed me that most everyone had rushed away home, that since I live so far away from work (about a 45-minute commute on a good day) I should absolutely do the same, that the roads really were beginning to accumulate freezing buildup and become quite dangerous. At this point I decided to perhaps pay some heed to the ever-changing exterior conditions –that Mother Nature is one moody beeyotch– and started to get a bit nervous. After another half hour of anxious worry and discussion with the few people who remained in the office, I decided to go ahead and head to my house, where I would work from home the rest of the afternoon. I grabbed my notebook and necessary papers, tossed my purse over my shoulder, retrieved my uneaten lunch from the office fridge and left.

I decided to take the back roads home, since the freeways were so obviously overcrowded and lethal – this turned out to be the worst mistake of my life. I should have known I was in trouble when, after 40 minutes, I was only three miles away from my office building.

At first I was like:

 

1

 

And then I was like:

 

url

 

And then when I finally arrived home THREE HOURS AND FORTY FIVE MINUTES LATER I was like:

 

3

4

 

It has now officially been two solid weeks of gray skies, abhorrent sleet, freezing rain and the occasional temperature above 40 degrees. This Texas girl is ready to see the light. And by light I mean sunshine. I’m just too caught up in my seasonal affective disorder to care about writing clearly.

SOS – please send sunshine and warmth.

And now on a much lighter and more pleasant note, I am excited to announce the winner of the giveaway from that last, fateful Friday. The winner of her very own copy of F.I.T. Faith Inspired Transformation by Kim Dolan Leto is…………NATALIE FROM NEVER SERIOUS BLOG. YAY NATALIE!

—The Wife in Training

4 Comments

  • WHAT THE WHAT I WON SOMETHING?!

  • Reply March 4, 2015

    Kalyn

    I totally remember when “Snowpocalypse” came to Alabama last January… it was total CHAOS. My husband left work at 10 a.m. and it wasn’t too bad, but me, being a nurse, couldn’t leave work until the shift was over. But by 7 p.m. all the roads were closed and I was too nervous to drive my little car (who at the time, would slip and slide at even the thought of water) and everyone was spending the night in empty patient rooms, but I was like HELL no I’m not sleeping here. So, I went with the logical choice of making my husband come get me when all the roads were closed. He actually didn’t run in to any issues, probably because the only police officer he passed on the way was in the middle of a 360 spin out on the interstate (“freeway” to you). In the end, all was well and I got to stay home the next day and drink coffee and throw snowballs at my in-laws dog.

    Wow I didn’t intend to have that long of a comment. Oh well.

  • That sounds awful. I have no patience for cold weather or traffic or sitting in my car that long. You should probably just move here. Tell Andy they have accountants in Australia too.

  • that is an insanely long time to be in a car, especially while driving on ice. i hope you brought wine in your lunch…how horrible!

Leave a Reply