Once upon a time there was a girl who had the most wonderful Thanksgiving and long weekend in all the land. The girl’s weekend included kitchen time with her beloved grandmother, a Thanksgiving feast with her favorite dishes (heyoooo green bean casserole) and three days of shopping for special Christmas treasures at Texas’ biggest flea market.
Spoiler alert: that girl is me.
Because #America I got to leave work at noon on Wednesday and then I
sped carefully drove the 40 miles from my office in North Dallas to my grandparents’ house west of Fort Worth. Nana taught me how to make her famous holiday dressing, and also fed me full of enchilada casserole and sent me home with her deeeeelicious homemade banana bread. I really want to tell you that I shared it, I really do.
If you’re not from this country (Faith) allow me to inform you that Thanksgiving was Thursday. This holiday is all about eating and consequent lethargy, so I am naturally all about it. I guess per the title it’s also about giving thanks and stuff, so yeah I did some of that too. If we’re friends on Facebook or you follow me on Instagram then you already know that I’m thankful for this sexy stud of a husband, our wonderful families, endless other blessings and the fact that my yoga pants are abundantly stretchy.
Friday morning at the crack of 8 a.m. Andy took me to meet up with Mom and Aunt Linda for a weekend in Canton. Canton is a city about an hour east of Dallas, and is the monthly home of Texas’ biggest flea market. I don’t actually know for a fact that it’s the biggest flea market, Texas is a pretty big state; but with all those acres I walked it sure felt like it. I could google it but like I said, I walked a lot of miles over the shopping grounds this weekend and I’m exhausted.
Now, allow me to paint a picture. Canton is a very small, rather remote, epitomization of what I’m sure out-of-staters perceive to be the classic Texas stereotype. Not a lie, I saw four different humans on horseback this weekend. (Yes, I have ridden a horse before. No, I do not own one. Nor do I ride it to work wearing a cowboy hat with a piece of wheat protruding from teeth while holding my eleven fully loaded guns.) Coming from a family who went Colorado mountain camping for every summer vacation growing up, it makes perfect sense that we would take my Aunt Linda’s super nice RV (we call it the Taj MaHauler) and stay in a fully hooked-up RV park. That doesn’t mean it’s an RV park for slutty people, it just means we lived in a portable trailer home with full electricity and running water for the weekend. We got up early, shopped all day, picked up tacos from the truck stop for dinner, watched murder mysteries in the trailer and then went to sleep. That was our routine for three days. You’re jealous, I know. I’m not going to tell you how much money I spent there because Andy might read this and I’m too young to die.
All right friends, now back to the grind. Unfortunately the non-sexy, completely professional kind. The good news is that it’s officially December and there are only 25 days until Christmas!!
—The Wife in Training
PPS – I’M NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT SORRY FOR ALL THE SHOUTING BECAUSE THEIR ACCOMPLISHMENTS ARE WORTH
DRINKING TO SHOUTING ABOUT.
PPPS – Does anyone have a delicious, no-fail, five-ingredients-or-fewer recipe for a non-alcoholic party punch I could make for my cousin’s bridal shower this weekend? Pleaseandthankyou’kaybye.