Random Thoughts With Lindsay

I’m having pie for breakfast today. Apple, to be specific. I am simultaneously Team Put-Good-Things-In-Your-Body-If-You-Want-It-To-Last-A-Long-Time and also Team Gimme-Dat-Pie. I am a house (body) divided.

Sometimes do you feel like, when you pick up fast food, that it’s the modern equivalent of hunting? Like, this is my food. I killed it. I conquered it. And now I will consume it.

When my cats jump on my body in the middle of the night, I often wonder if they’re protecting me from like a ghost or something. Idk if cats wield that kind of power, but I wouldn’t be surprised.

Some mornings recently I really don’t feel well, it’s like the crazy Texas weather will be sunny and 35 degrees on Wednesday and then Thursday it’s 70 degrees and rainy. This confuses my body, and then I get allergies. And when I get allergies, I get drainage. And when I get drainage, I feel nauseous because it’s all landing in my stomach. And even though I know all those things, I still think eating tacos is a good idea. And it is, for a while. Especially the while when I’m actually eating the tacos. But then, 20 minutes following the completion of my taco consumption, I feel sick. Because grease and drainage apparently equal nausea. And in those moments, I regret nothing. Because tacos are always the right choice.

One time this weekend I went to a pizza restaurant and they were out of the first two kinds of beer I tried to order. Like, put up a sign or something, would you? Don’t get my hopes up. Dirty beer teases.

The world would be a whole lot better if we required IQ tests for would-be drivers license holders and also would-be parents.

I don’t think I answer questions normally. Like yesterday, when we did Thanksgiving with Andy’s family, they asked me if I was getting any time off this week. Thinking of how I’m working today (Monday), Tuesday and the half-day our office is open on Wednesday, I said, “No, I’m saving up my vacation days for Christmas and the trip abroad Andy and I are planning in the spring.” Everyone looked really sad for me and I didn’t understand why because hello, white Christmas in the snowy mountains of Colorado and then ABROAD. Andy looked at me meaningfully for a minute, and then said “No, she will be off Thursday and Friday. Her office is closed those days.” And everyone sighed with relief. In my defense both answers were correct.

I would really like to go ride some roller coasters. Even though we live less than two miles from Six Flags Over Texas, Andy won’t go with me. He says he “doesn’t like roller coasters.” I could go alone, of course, but then I’d be the weird old lady riding roller coasters by herself surrounded by the children of strangers.

When I yawn I like to close my eyes and pretend I’m a dragon spewing fire, like in the end of How to Train Your Dragon.

I think I may not be fully right in the head. My brain works like a gas tank, I think. I have to refill it with rest and reality TV every night. Then, beginning usually early in the morning I have tremendous mental energy and creativity for a good portion of the day, until I reach a certain point and then there is no more. That’s all you get today, sorry.

12 Comments

  • Apples are fruit. “An apple a day?” OK. I’ll have mine on crust and topped with ice cream.

    If I was required to pass an IQ test to drive, I would not be licensed. I’m actually not sure why they gave me on in the first place.

    • Reply November 24, 2014

      admin

      Yes please, I’ll take double ice cream on today’s apple serving.

  • Reply November 24, 2014

    Kalyn

    I will go to six flags with you becasue I LOVE roller coasters. I have been trying to get Derek to take me to Atlanta for the last three years and it hasn’t happened yet, so at this point going to DFW is probably more realistic. And obviously your cat’s are protecting you. Or trying to anyway. Also I’m getting my cat back next weekend and this really isn’t relevant but I’m SO excited for her to live with me again!!

    • Reply November 24, 2014

      admin

      Come to Dallas and I will take you and we will ride ALL the roller coasters. And yay, I’m so glad your kitty is moving back in! Was it just me or did that sound sexual?

  • Reply November 24, 2014

    Juliette

    This just made me love you so much.
    Apple pie is totally appropriate for breakfast.
    I would have answered the question about days off the way you did also.

    • Reply November 24, 2014

      admin

      I knew I liked you.

  • Reply November 24, 2014

    Rachel

    I’m totes Team Gimme-Dat-Pie, especially this week. Pass all the casseroles my way, please. And if soon-to-be parents required an IQ test, I might be out of a job. But that’s okay, more time for pie.

    • Reply November 24, 2014

      admin

      Ohhhh girl don’t even get me started on the casseroles. I am not excited about sharing the green bean casserole. Apparently it’s not all for me.

  • Reply November 24, 2014

    Becca @ Becoming Adorrable

    My brain requires refilling, too. Sometimes with tacos.

    • Reply November 24, 2014

      admin

      And margaritas.

  • you are probably TOTALLY right about the cats protecting you from ghosts. makes me want to get a cat now.

    good luck with that taco situation…i feel the same with my love for cheese and dairy and my lack of tolerating lactose. booooo.

    • Reply November 24, 2014

      admin

      Your body hates you and doesn’t want you to have any fun with lactose. Rude. Also, you guys should totally get a cat.

Leave a Reply