I’m having pie for breakfast today. Apple, to be specific. I am simultaneously Team Put-Good-Things-In-Your-Body-If-You-Want-It-To-Last-A-Long-Time and also Team Gimme-Dat-Pie. I am a house (body) divided.
Sometimes do you feel like, when you pick up fast food, that it’s the modern equivalent of hunting? Like, this is my food. I killed it. I conquered it. And now I will consume it.
When my cats jump on my body in the middle of the night, I often wonder if they’re protecting me from like a ghost or something. Idk if cats wield that kind of power, but I wouldn’t be surprised.
Some mornings recently I really don’t feel well, it’s like the crazy Texas weather will be sunny and 35 degrees on Wednesday and then Thursday it’s 70 degrees and rainy. This confuses my body, and then I get allergies. And when I get allergies, I get drainage. And when I get drainage, I feel nauseous because it’s all landing in my stomach. And even though I know all those things, I still think eating tacos is a good idea. And it is, for a while. Especially the while when I’m actually eating the tacos. But then, 20 minutes following the completion of my taco consumption, I feel sick. Because grease and drainage apparently equal nausea. And in those moments, I regret nothing. Because tacos are always the right choice.
One time this weekend I went to a pizza restaurant and they were out of the first two kinds of beer I tried to order. Like, put up a sign or something, would you? Don’t get my hopes up. Dirty beer teases.
The world would be a whole lot better if we required IQ tests for would-be drivers license holders and also would-be parents.
I don’t think I answer questions normally. Like yesterday, when we did Thanksgiving with Andy’s family, they asked me if I was getting any time off this week. Thinking of how I’m working today (Monday), Tuesday and the half-day our office is open on Wednesday, I said, “No, I’m saving up my vacation days for Christmas and the trip abroad Andy and I are planning in the spring.” Everyone looked really sad for me and I didn’t understand why because hello, white Christmas in the snowy mountains of Colorado and then ABROAD. Andy looked at me meaningfully for a minute, and then said “No, she will be off Thursday and Friday. Her office is closed those days.” And everyone sighed with relief. In my defense both answers were correct.
I would really like to go ride some roller coasters. Even though we live less than two miles from Six Flags Over Texas, Andy won’t go with me. He says he “doesn’t like roller coasters.” I could go alone, of course, but then I’d be the weird old lady riding roller coasters by herself surrounded by the children of strangers.
When I yawn I like to close my eyes and pretend I’m a dragon spewing fire, like in the end of How to Train Your Dragon.
I think I may not be fully right in the head. My brain works like a gas tank, I think. I have to refill it with rest and reality TV every night. Then, beginning usually early in the morning I have tremendous mental energy and creativity for a good portion of the day, until I reach a certain point and then there is no more. That’s all you get today, sorry.