Questions I Have For Canadians

Hello and happy Tuesday! Today isn’t just any old Tuesday, today is Canada Day. Now, sure,  the American among you may ask “Why on earth do I care about Canada Day?” And the answer is, because my friend Faith lives there and I’m going to visit her someday duh, and also because there I can’t be the only one who wants to get to the bottom of this poutine business.

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Anyway, Faith, Allie and Juliette thought up this cool idea where they’re going to blog every day in July, and then forced invited me to join the fun. I begrudgingly agreed because they already outlined all the posts so I basically have to do approximately zero work, and also I cave easily to peer pressure. Go ahead, offer me drugs. I’ll probably say yes.

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So because I’m blogging every day for the month of July (DON’T QUOTE ME) and today’s writing prompt is about Canada, I give you:

QUESTIONS I HAVE FOR CANADIANS

What is poutine and why does it have such an unfortunate-sounding name?

Why are you guys all so nice? Or is it just a trick you play on simple, unassuming Texans?

If you don’t have Taco Bueno, where do your tacos come from?

Why doesn’t your dentist give you drugs when you have dental things done (Faith)? The drugs are the only reason I ever go.

Have you ever seen a Sasquatch? I watched Finding Bigfoot a while ago and apparently both Texas and Canada have allegedly harbored them. I’ve never seen one though, so maybe they’ve all gone north for the summer?

Approximately what percentage of the year is it cool enough to warrant a jacket? Are there igloos there?

Do you hate Justin Beiber too?

Is every other Canadian city jealous of Vancouver? Because I would be.

Why is Canada so big? And this is coming from a Texan. Have you seen the size of my a-s-you-know-what our state?

ave you ever had a really good frozen margarita? I feel like there’s no way you could have. Follow-up question: do you have enchiladas there?

How often do you say eh, eh?

Be honest: can you really see Russia from your house?

 

Happy Canada Day(eh).
—The Wife in Training

21 Comments

  • Reply July 1, 2014

    Juliette

    These questions are excellent and they make me want tacos. THANKS.

    • Reply July 1, 2014

      admin

      GET SOME TACOS.

  • Reply July 1, 2014

    Faith

    Hahaha I love you and these questions are amazing. I’m on my phone so I promise I’ll answer these when I’m at my computer later.

    Poutine = fries with cheese and gravy = heaven = #fatheart

    • Reply July 1, 2014

      admin

      I love you and I hope you’re having the best Canada Day ever.

      • Reply July 2, 2014

        Faith

        Okay, I’m back. Hello. Here are my answers to your questions…

        Ahem. *clears throat and steps up to the podium*

        1. What is poutine and why does it have such an unfortunate-sounding name?
        … the French named it, blame them. But it’s fries topped with cheese and gravy and it is so heavenly. I promise you’d love it.

        2. Why are you guys all so nice? Or is it just a trick you play on simple, unassuming Texans?
        We’re not nice, bitch. Okay, sorry.. that was mean. I don’t know, blame it on how we were raised – or something?

        3. If you don’t have Taco Bueno, where do your tacos come from?
        We have various taco shops and food carts… but this taco bueno sounds muy bueno ;)

        4. Why doesn’t your dentist give you drugs when you have dental things done (Faith)? The drugs are the only reason I ever go.
        …because Canadian dentists are the devil and like to watch my have panic attacks in their chair.

        5. Have you ever seen a Sasquatch? I watched Finding Bigfoot a while ago and apparently both Texas and Canada have allegedly harbored them. I’ve never seen one though, so maybe they’ve all gone north for the summer?
        … no I haven’t… come visit me and we’ll go on a quest.

        6. Approximately what percentage of the year is it cool enough to warrant a jacket? Are there igloos there?
        42%
        no igloos here

        7. Do you hate Justin Beiber too?
        … absolutely

        8. Is every other Canadian city jealous of Vancouver? Because I would be.
        … very much so. we get snow MAYBE once a year, otherwise it’s rain and sunshine all year round

        9. Why is Canada so big? And this is coming from a Texan. Have you seen the size of my a-s-you-know-what our state?
        … because science?

        10. Have you ever had a really good frozen margarita? I feel like there’s no way you could have. Follow-up question: do you have enchiladas there?
        … no, that’s primarily why I’m visiting you. I’ve had a frozen margarita once or twice and they were just ‘okay’

        11. How often do you say eh, eh?
        … couple times a d’eh

        12. Be honest: can you really see Russia from your house?
        absolutely, not.

  • Reply July 1, 2014

    Shanondoah

    Poutine = French but I suggest not asking questions and just eat it. I mentioned it twice in my canada post today!

    We’re nice because we’re just lovely. And we have many places to eat tacos and drink margaritas – sometimes with coronas in them which makes it even better.

    I think you can get drugs at the dentist?

    Never seen sasquatch, russia or igloos although they do exist.

    I think JB is an annoying brat.

    I’ve never been to Vancouver but I’d probably be jealous although they get soooo much rain.

    It’s so big for the same reason we’re so nice, we’re awesome!

    And eh? Constantly, eh?

    Hope that covers everything :)

    Enjoy your “Canada Day”

    • Reply July 2, 2014

      admin

      I really want us to be friends.

  • Reply July 1, 2014

    Kayla

    Poutine is the best food on earth and it hurts my heart that so many people haven’t been able to enjoy its amazingness!

    I have had an amazing frozen margarita – I just had to go to Texas to have it… haha

    • Reply July 2, 2014

      admin

      Skeptical Lindsay is skeptical. But I promise to try it someday.

  • Reply July 1, 2014

    Brandi

    Awe good ol Justin Beiber!! Totally forgot about him!!

    • Reply July 2, 2014

      admin

      HOW COULD YOU EVER FORGET ABOUT HIM.

      #beleiber #isthattherighthashtag #idon’treallycare

  • Reply July 1, 2014

    Elizabeth

    I love poutine…it comes straight from heaven I’m sure of it! Loving all of these questions haha

    • Reply July 2, 2014

      admin

      Hahahaha well thank you very much!

  • Reply July 1, 2014

    Allie

    I was gonna say that this has nothing to do with Canada really, but it totally does. We here in NC do not have Taco Bueno either….

    Please tell me you’re okay and didn’t have a heart attack or anything?

    Now, can you tell me what the greatness is?

    • Reply July 2, 2014

      admin

      Can’t…..respond….having….heart attack.

      Someone call 911 and have them take Allie to the nearest Taco Bueno.

  • Reply July 2, 2014

    Chelsea Short

    I can actually answer some if these!

    Our tacos come from either Taco Bell, or the equally delicious “Taco Time”.

    You can almost always get away with wearing a jacket. The day I moved to Texas, it snowed. It was July 3rd.

    No, we are not all jealous of Vancouver. There are much cooler places. Google “Banff” or “Lake Louise”.

    Happy Canada Day!

    • Reply July 2, 2014

      admin

      Chelsea I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE FROM CANADA IT’S LIKE MY WHOLE WORLD JUST GOT TURNED UPSIDE DOWN.

  • Reply July 2, 2014

    jeri

    Fabulous questions! I was going to ask you to be sure to provide answers when you found them. But never mind. And thank you very much Faith, Shanondoah, Kayla, and Chelsea!

  • Canadians all do seem very nice. I’m thinking it’s the fact that they have hockey, cheese/gravy fries, and Taylor Kitsch ;)

    • Reply July 2, 2014

      admin

      I just had to google Taylor Kitsch and…..I’m on board.

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