Hello and happy Tuesday! Today isn’t just any old Tuesday, today is Canada Day. Now, sure, the American among you may ask “Why on earth do I care about Canada Day?” And the answer is, because my friend Faith lives there and I’m going to visit her someday duh, and also because there I can’t be the only one who wants to get to the bottom of this poutine business.
Anyway, Faith, Allie and Juliette thought up this cool idea where they’re going to blog every day in July, and then forced invited me to join the fun. I begrudgingly agreed because they already outlined all the posts so I basically have to do approximately zero work, and also I cave easily to peer pressure. Go ahead, offer me drugs. I’ll probably say yes.
So because I’m blogging every day for the month of July (DON’T QUOTE ME) and today’s writing prompt is about Canada, I give you:
QUESTIONS I HAVE FOR CANADIANS
What is poutine and why does it have such an unfortunate-sounding name?
Why are you guys all so nice? Or is it just a trick you play on simple, unassuming Texans?
If you don’t have Taco Bueno, where do your tacos come from?
Why doesn’t your dentist give you drugs when you have dental things done (Faith)? The drugs are the only reason I ever go.
Have you ever seen a Sasquatch? I watched Finding Bigfoot a while ago and apparently both Texas and Canada have allegedly harbored them. I’ve never seen one though, so maybe they’ve all gone north for the summer?
Approximately what percentage of the year is it cool enough to warrant a jacket? Are there igloos there?
Do you hate Justin Beiber too?
Is every other Canadian city jealous of Vancouver? Because I would be.
Why is Canada so big? And this is coming from a Texan. Have you seen the size of my a-s-you-know-what our state?
ave you ever had a really good frozen margarita? I feel like there’s no way you could have. Follow-up question: do you have enchiladas there?
How often do you say eh, eh?
Be honest: can you really see Russia from your house?
Happy Canada Day(eh).
—The Wife in Training