On Weddings, Small Towns and Borderline Offensive Selfies

Remember how last week I was all OMG-Andy-has-to-give-two-best-man-speeches-at-this-wedding-and-I-am-totally-panicking-and-being-just-a-smidge-pushy-but-it’s-okay-because-I-learned-how-important-it-is-to-be-your-husband’s-biggest-fan?

Psssshhhhh. Me either, that lady sounds like a hot mess of crazy.

This weekend Señor Hess and I went down to Austin for a wedding. Well, Georgetown, to be specific. After the average wedding weekend helping of chaos, approximately three roadside bathroom breaks and six cumulative hours in the car, I decided that Georgetown, Texas is my new favorite place. They have great shopping, the cutest of cute town squares and you can’t beat The Hilton at Georgetown.*

We stayed with some Hess family cousins/(great?) aunt and uncle/in-law/I’m not sure exactly what I would call them, genealogy is hard. But they were so very kind to invite us to stay at their hous- nay, MANSION, near the wedding venue. Think four bedrooms, indoor and outdoor living rooms, a pool the likes of which our honeymoon resort would envy and square feet times infinity. Vicki and Jerry – your humble abode is truly beautiful, thank you so much for letting us stay there!

*We took to calling Vicki’s and Jerry’s gorgeous house The Hilton at Georgetown. I’m saving up my frequent flyer miles for another visit.



I wanted to take more pictures, but it felt creepy and home invader-y.


While Andy went off to do best man wedding rehearsal things, my mother-in-law Terri, her cousin/our host Vicki and I ran off to do some girl stuff. GIRL STUFF, Y’ALL. This is what great weekends are made of. We shopped around the adorable town square, chatted with local artisans and drank wine on a patio while listening to a live guitar/saxophone duo.



The center of the town square. Swoon.



Hello wraparound porch, I love you.



These cute couples were dancing to the live sax/guitar duo and I took not-at-all-candid photos.


I’d show you what I bought in the cute shops, but they’re Mother’s Day surprises. Let me distract you with a blurry selfie I forced Andy to take gently suggested in my usual soft spoken, socially graceful manner after he nailed his rehearsal dinner speech.



Can you help me pick a filter?


The wedding itself was at The Vineyard at Florence, aka a freaking beautiful wino utopia in Middle of Nowhere, TX and I loved it. The ceremony was gorgeous and the reception was tons of fun but I realized that outside of my own, I don’t know how to behave like a normal adult in a wedding situation. Yes, I can eat cake and drink champagne with the best of them. But upon personal reflection, I found it entirely appropriate and hilarious to dance like someone who is being electrocuted while also doing the time warp, cat call my husband as he took the stage for his best man speech and initiate a borderline offensive photo shoot with a pornographic statue.



This view is okay, I guess.



You’ll notice that there are no wedding guests in this photo. That’s because I scared them all off with my creepy picture taking.



I am like so totally mature.



Just killing it with his hilarious best man speech. NBD.



I let this stud take me home Saturday night. Heyooooo.


I’m going to call this weekend a win. Until next time, friends.
—The Wife in Training



  • Reply May 6, 2014


    I’m so glad Andy nailed his speech(es). And you two are the most beautiful couple! GAH. Also that picture of you with the inappropriate statue is my favorite thing EVER.

    • Reply May 6, 2014


      Juliette, come ON… it’s favoUrite.

  • Reply May 6, 2014


    It took me 80 hours to finally come and read this, but OMG THAT PICTURE hahahahahaha. You should probably have that statue at home or something.

    Also, I totally want to attend a wedding with you. Like, as a fellow guest… before my own wedding.

    Also also, “The Hilton at Georgetown” looks amazing… just based on the pool picture alone. Now I really want to go to a wedding.

  • Reply May 6, 2014


    Yea, those views totally suck. And also YOU TWO are the most adorable couple! I love it!

  • That wrap around porch is to.die.for. and you just made me miss Texas which is what I’m blogging about tomorrow.

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