Sooooo I guess we should talk about this Monday problem. They just. keep. happening. Who can I speak to about this? Let me know. This weekend was fantastic because I did very little other than eat, sleep and hang out with awesome people, so I am understandably upset to see it come to an end and Monday rear its ugly head.
So let’s talk about the weekend, shall we?
Friday night I was a phenomenal wife and didn’t cook dinner. I did, however, pick up a delicious Canadian bacon/pineapple pizza to share with Andypants while we watched Divergent (that’s right, still obsessed). I really want to tell you we didn’t consume 87% of the 18″ pizza in one sitting… But my mother taught me not to lie, so I’m just going to trail off with some strategically placed elipses and hope no one notices.
Later that night I caught up on some of my Shark Week shows on the DVR. To my horror and dismay the geniuses at Discovery Channel somehow didn’t learn from last year’s megalodon fiasco, and in fact followed it up this year with ANOTHER sketchy disclaimer basically discrediting the past hour of “documentary” television I watched. Thanks for wasting my life, idiots.
Saturday morning I slept until 10:30 and it was capital D-elightful. I wasn’t even a little bit sorry about it. I only woke up when I did because Saturday is trash day and I have to clean the monster kittens’ litter boxes. My life is so glamorous. Later that day I had every intention of sitting down for a few hours and knocking out a few thousand words on my manuscript, but I fell asleep for three-and-a-half hours instead. Oops. Then I made that man I live with take me out for some barbecue, son. I ate it ALL. And some ice cream.
Sunday I woke up to a flood of biblical proportions. I tried calling for Noah, because I really needed a ride to meet Natalie for brunch, but he was nowhere to be found. Ugh. So I put my big girl panties on and drove myself through what seemed like a monsoon to my second blogger date with Natalie in a week. In Match.com years, we’re practically friend-engaged. I ate a chile relleno stuffed with eggs, bacon, cheese, and all things that are good. Oh and there was some fruit involved but lezbihonest it was only there for looks. We ate, drank mimosas, then went shopping – Natalie told her husband that I played absolutely zero part in helping her spend all those dollars on clothes and jewelry for her upcoming trip to Boston, but you guys know me better than that.
Later that afternoon Andy and I went for a leisurely stroll around our neighborhood. I try to avoid nature whenever possible, but even I have to admit it was really pretty out there.
Then Sunday night I made us an incredibly healthy dinner of noodles with tomato sauce from a jar, salad from a bag and freshly baked churro cheesecake bars for dessert. You see where my priorities are.
And then I skipped my workout and ate leftover churro cheesecake bars and a sausage biscuit for breakfast the end.
—The Wife in Training