Like I said yesterday, I just finished reading Divergent…and then re-reading it, all in a three-day span. I AM extraordinarily cool, thank you for noticing; get on my level. It has come to my attention that I may or may not be slightly too invested in this fictional world. For example, I wore solid black to work yesterday because I want to be Dauntless. I caught myself shopping online for a black leather jacket at the beginning of the Texas summer. I took Buzzfeed’s What Faction Are You quiz and became legitimately upset when I got stupid Candor because everyone knows it’s the lamest faction of all.
Then I started thinking “I really want to get a tattoo.” No, not birds on my collarbone because I’m not THAT crazily obsessed (yet), but also because I hear tattoos on bone are hella painful and girlfriend’s got a low pain threshold. Plus Andy said he doesn’t think tattoos are very sexy and apparently this whole marriage thing is “for life,” so if I want to keep making out with my hot husband maybe it’s not worth it? The jury’s still out on that one.
But that got me thinking, what tattoo/body placement combination would I go for?
This is your first and probably only tattoo. It probably hurt like hell and it definitely makes you vastly cooler than me. My mom got a one here after she finished kicking cancer’s ass – it’s a dove holding the pink breast cancer ribbon in its beak. It’s infinitely awesome, second in awesomeness only to the lovely facial expressions she made when getting it done.
Behind the ear
The behind the ear tattoo says, “I’m mysterious and worldly and I could probably out-drink you. Take me to your local dive bar and let’s find out.” This is where I would get one, if Andy ever lets me. But good Lord I would need so much pinot grigio to deal with the nerves and aforementioned tattoo-on-bone pain.
Tribal arm band
You peaked circa 1994.
Anything and everything on your face
You make bad decisions when you’re drunk and probably need some better friends because either this was their idea or they didn’t stop you in your drunken stupor. Yes, better friends are definitely in order.
Star tattoo on the foot
“Hi, my name is Taylor Swift.”
The name “Juliette” anywhere on your body
You know how to properly celebrate The Other Juliette’s birthday, which just so happens to be today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY J!!!!
Do you have a tattoo? Where is it? What is it of? Did it hurt like hell? Be honest.
—The Wife in Training