How to Throw the Perfect Shark Week Party

Hello friends. In case you hadn’t heard, the most wonderful week of the year is upon us; that’s right, it’s SHARK WEEK. Let’s all give a big chomp of excitement.

*Chomp* *Chomp* *Chomp*

Well done! Today I’m going to teach you how to host the very best Shark Week party that ever partied. Here’s what you need to do:

 

Shark-Week

 

Invite cool people.

For me, this is my family. My entire family. They’re the coolest people I now, and will ever, know.

 

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family3

 

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family4

 

family2

 

sharkweek_group

 

 

Make delicious food. (Then fail to photograph most of it.)

As a suggestion, the delicious food should include –but is not limited to– ground beef tacos, shredded chicken tacos, enchilada casserole, fully loaded queso, two varieties of homemade salsa, shark-themed fruit displays, and FINtastic cupcakes. And alcohol. When you can’t be trusted with the more intricate, complex culinary stylings (aka the shark-themed fruit displays) outsource them to only your most trusted partners in Shark Week crime. i.e. Show your mom the Shark Week Buzzfeed article and let her replicate the shark jaws watermelon. It will be eleventy billion times better than anything you could ever do. Moms are just naturally good at this stuff, I think.

 

food1

This was actually really delicious. More on this later.

 

 

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FINtastic. Truly fintastic.

 

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The pièce de résistance (I think most sharks speak French, don’t you? It only makes sense.)

 

Drink only the most expensive wine.

Lololololol jk hold on, let me refill my glass from my cardboardaux before we go on.

 

Get your pets in on the action.

Dress them in the latest sharky fashion – trust me, they’ll love it. They won’t protest at all.

 

mavincostume

See? Look how happy he is to be wearing his special hammerhead costume!

 

And that, friends, is how you throw the best Shark Week party ever. I hope you enjoy the most wonderful week of the year as much as I plan to.
—The Wife in Training

8 Comments

  • what! you are part of the coolest family EVER! that watermelon shark monster is the best thing ever. SO creative and you’re right…moms are just good at that stuff! also i love your shirt, i want all those fintastic looking cupcakes and to drinkith from your cardboard box wine!

    • Reply July 14, 2015

      Lindsay Landgraf Hess

      PLEASE come to the next shark week party. I’ll feed you aggressive shark watermelon, cupcakes and boxed wine. And tacos.

  • Reply July 8, 2015

    chelsea jacobs

    Those cupcakes are so adorable!!

    • Reply July 14, 2015

      Lindsay Landgraf Hess

      Thank you!

  • Reply July 8, 2015

    Faith

    THE WATERMELON SHARK IS AMAZING.
    Seriously, I could never ever do that.

    Also, all of this food is making my stomach grumble.
    And I’m actually pretty devastated that I wasn’t invited to this party..

    • Reply July 14, 2015

      Lindsay Landgraf Hess

      MOVE TO TEXAS AND YOU’LL BE INVITED TO EVERY PARTY.

  • Reply July 8, 2015

    Juliette

    THERE IS A DEAD BARBIE IN THE WATERMELON SHARK MY DAY HAS JUST BEEN MADE.

    • Reply July 14, 2015

      Lindsay Landgraf Hess

      Right? My mom, the creative/evil genius.

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