Come at Me, April

This time last year I was playing the best April Fool’s Day prank on Andy ever – faking a positive pregnancy test. Did you know that on the non-digital ones you can actually crack them open and write in your desired results? MUAHAHAHA the look on Andy’s face. He claims to have known that I was lying all along, but I have my doubts. I have a degree in theatre people, I’m very convincing in my lies. Wait. Maybe I shouldn’t be bragging about that? Whatever, this is my blog and I say he totally fell for it.

But this year I have no tricks up my sleeve, because I’ve been lost in deep thought in my expansive library amid endless volumes of leatherbound books, sipping scotch and conversing with my good friend Ron Burgundy. Just kidding. I didn’t plan any pranks because I’m lazy. Hold on, how are we still talking about April Fool’s Day pranks two paragraphs later? That is not what I wanted to blog about today. This is one of those write-the-story-don’t-let-the-story-write-you moments, isn’t it.

Moving on.

April is going to be a good month. I can feel it. And today I’m going to tell you about all the exciting(ish) things I’m going to do this month.




To Plan
Book all lodging and activity tickets for Andy’s and my European adventure. WOOHOO. We’ve got flights, we’re working on hotels and apparently there are some tourist attractions you actually need official tickets for. Like in London we want to go see the stadium where Chelsea plays (Andy’s favorite sportsball…er, soccer…team) and you need a ticket for that tour. Want to ride the London Eye? You need a ticket for that. Plan to see a play at Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre (you better believe I do)? Bestyou’re your tickets now. Touring Loch Ness, the Guinness brew house and Jamison distillery? Tickets. Gotta have ‘em. Want to know where we’re going/lend advice? You can read more about our exciting adventure here.




To Celebrate
Next week is my dad’s birthday and out of respect for him I won’t tell you how old he is. But I will tell you that he and Father Time played together as children. Kidding. Anyway, now is the time to commence Operation Birthday Present. Must. find. awesome. gift. Maybe some wine and Weird Al’s latest CD?


To Write
Begin working on my next book, the sequel to On Mountain High. I feel like its title should obviously be In Valley Low but right now as I don’t know exactly where the plot is going, I can’t commit. “Begin working on” is very nebulous though, I think I’ll focus on writing a solid outline, figuring out plot specifics and getting a few first chapters written.





To Read
Serena by Ron Rash and Delirium by Lauren Oliver.




To Cook
I’m going to teach myself to make this delicious, healthy, three-ingredient strawberry frozen yogurt. And then I’m going to squirrel it away hidden under vegetables in the freezer where Andy will never find it, that way I don’t have to share. #marriagegoals




To Exercise
I really should get back on track with my goal of running (jogging…okay, yeah, walking) 4x per week. Apparently it’s good for your body and heart and overall well-being, or something. We’ll see.




To Love
April is the blessed, blessed month in which I will FINALLY GET MY HUSBAND BACK FROM ACCOUNTING BUSY SEASON. We’re going to kiss all the time and he’s going to be so mad at me for putting this on the internet. Sorry Señor Hess (no I’m not, by law you have to love me no matter what).


To Save
Adopt a pet unicorn. Hey, a girl can dream.


What will you be up to this month?
—The Wife in Training


  • Reply April 1, 2015


    I think all the Hess kissing should lead to a Little Hess, but that’s just me…

    • Reply April 1, 2015


      Whoa Allie, THAT escalated quickly

      • Reply April 1, 2015

        Lindsay Landgraf Hess

        Hahahaha SOMEDAY Allie I promise there will be Little Hesses. Like maybe in a few years.

  • If you get a unicorn… then I want one too. I can’t believe it is already April… like WHAT! Good luck getting your writing mojo going :)

    • Reply April 1, 2015

      Lindsay Landgraf Hess

      Unicorns for everyone! And thank you very much. :)

  • that picture of you and your dad is precious! i think my dad would totally love the new weird al CD too. they should hang out.

    SO excited for your adventures and travel planning! that’s half the fun and all of the stress but it’s worth it :)

    • Reply April 1, 2015

      Lindsay Landgraf Hess

      Our dads should TOTALLY hang out! #TeamWeirdAl

  • First of all, thank you for saying “Andy’s and my” and not “and I’s” because that is one pet peeve that I’ve been seeing everywhere — but then, you are writer.

    Also, I want a unicorn, too.

    • Reply April 1, 2015

      Lindsay Landgraf Hess

      I’m so glad you appreciate the correctness. And I’m telling you, we ALL need pet unicorns. I want to name mine Sparkles.

  • Reply April 1, 2015


    I want a unicorn. If you figure out how to have one, hook a sista up with the details!

    • Reply April 1, 2015

      Lindsay Landgraf Hess

      On the unicorn black market, duh.

  • I think you should buy him a Jeff Foxworthy CD or one with lots of prank calls on it, those are my father’s favorites. I want that FroYo in my freezer now.

  • Reply April 5, 2015


    Give me your email address I lived in London I want to email you the best of the best things to do.

Leave a Reply