All I Do Is Win

The other night my eyeballs and ear holes were treated to the unparalleled delight of Emma Stone’s and Jimmy Fallon’s epic lip sync battle  and holy amazing have  you seen it? Here is the link. You’re welcome. First let’s address the elephant in the room; Emma meet Cheeseburger, Cheeseburger meet Emma. You two desperately need each other. Good, now that that’s been settled let’s move on. Emma handed Jimmy’s butt to him when she concluded her set with DJ Khaled’s “All I Do Is Win.”

 

url

 

This monumental lip sync battle royale inspired a time of great reflection and deep thoughts in my life. Lol just kidding it inspired this post.

…I tripped going up the stairs the other day and broke my freshly painted big toenail.
All I do is win.

…I haven’t been to the gym in three weeks and the pudge monster is most definitely taking over the parts I want to jiggle the very least.
All I do is win.

…Last night driving home a construction semi threw a rock and cracked my windshield. I started snapping pics of the license plate and company name when I noticed a sign on the back of the semi that read, “Not responsible for broken windshields.”
All I do is win.

…I then managed to frustrate my husband by complaining to him for an hour about the broken windshield and how semis are a menace to society, then failing to take action by way of laziness and refusing to call a windshield repair company.
All I do is win.

…I took this gorgeous selfie the other day – entirely sober, mind you. Don’t ask me how I made my face do that, because I don’t know. So you agree, you think I’m really pretty? (name that movie)
All I do is win.

 

photo (58)

 

…Andy’s been out of town all week, so who’s been sharing my bed? Not my sexy, charming, wonderful husband. Not even a mysterious secret lover with whom I’m having a torrid affair. Cats. I shared my bed with cats. Cats that I got out of the dumpster, specifically.
All I do is win.

 

Oh and I peer pressured Juliette to share this post topic today so if you don’t read her blog then I don’t really know what you’re waiting for, go there now and read my funny friend.

 

l3yS7WM

 

Linking up with Whitney because it’s Friday and on Fridays we wear pink #backthatazzup with Whitney. Grooveshark took the day off, so here’s the YouTube link to All I Do Is Win. Because obviously.

Happy Friday friends! Here’s to a weekend full of wins.
—The Wife in Training

14 Comments

  • Reply June 6, 2014

    Juliette

    THAT SELFIE WILL NEVER GET OLD. It might become my new phone background after a glass of champagne tonight.

    • Reply June 6, 2014

      admin

      I would be honored.

  • Haha I thought this was the cutest idea. Glad you were inspired!

    • Reply June 6, 2014

      admin

      Thanks!

  • I manage to take selfies with my eyes half closed 60% of the time. And if I’m taking video? It starts with my eyes half closed.

    Oh, and you’re hilarious.

    • Reply June 12, 2014

      admin

      Eyes-open photos and videos are totally overrated if you ask me.

  • Reply June 8, 2014

    Allie

    Well. Now that I’ve spent about an hour looking at old lip sync contests on Jimmy Fallon, I’ll leave a comment. That selfie. #winnerwinnerchickendinner. But really though. I love that you have a tissue in your hand like a sweet old lady. Except you’re not old at all. Not even a little bit. That didn’t go over as planned. I’ll just tell you that the quote came from Mean Girls and maybe that will make up for me talking about the tissue in your hand. I should really stop while I’m ahead.

    • Reply June 12, 2014

      admin

      Allie I love you so much.

  • Reply June 10, 2014

    Sevi

    That rap battle was epic and you’re right Emma does need a cheeseburger! Oh and we decided to jump all in and buy a house without any idea that we would close so fast – now we have to be out of our current house by July 5. Oh and renovations are happening as I type on the new home….ALL I DO IS WIN! FML.

    • Reply June 12, 2014

      admin

      Sevi ALL YOU DO IS WIN. But really, I want to come over and see your awesome new house.

  • Reply June 11, 2014

    Sami Shenanigans

    One time Juliette and I met and we went on a wine tour and got drunk and at one winery the guys were hot (wine goggles) so we flirted with them and Juliette at one point asked if one of us was pretty (I think. Details, who needs them?) and he said something or walked away but the rest of the day all we did was go around saying “So, you agree you think she’s really pretty?” which was obviously very funny except for that we got the quote wrong. So there is that.

    • Reply June 11, 2014

      Juliette

      This whole story is true and I’m pretty sure I asked the guy if he thought sami was really pretty but I think he knew I was drunk so he looked at me funny and then walked away and then SERVED US MORE ALCOHOL.

      • Reply June 12, 2014

        admin

        ALL YOU GUYS DO IS WIN.

    • Reply June 12, 2014

      admin

      Oh don’t you worry Sami, I’ve creepy stalked that story over on J’s blog. And I love it. The wine guys were OBVIOUSLY intimidated by y’all’s supreme beauty and impeccable sense of humor. But still, I guess they can sit with you.

Leave a Reply Click here to cancel reply.

Leave a Reply to Sami Shenanigans Cancel reply