IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY ON MONDAY YAY!!!! [insert birthday dance, cake eating and general debauchery here] Don’t be surprised if this is new information, it’s totally my fault you may not have known – I am the very worst blogger in all of bloggieland and completely forgot to tell the blog about it. I’m just as shocked as you are, honestly.
Anyway IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY and I’m now officially the big 2-5. I spent a lovely weekend celebrating with Sir Husband, my family and friends, and I’m somewhat alarmed at the trend in the type of gifts I received: overwhelming quantities of wine (we’re talking 25 bottles of $3 Chuck, I’m looking at you Nana and Papa) and wine-drinking paraphernalia. I’m not entirely sure what this suggests about my life choices, but I don’t hate it. OH and I got toys. I love toys, toys are the best.
Anyhooker, since I am now a quarter of a century old and very obviously full of great wisdom, I’ve decided to share with you the short list of valuable information I’ve collected in all my 25 years.
…Things I know at 25
1. Diet Coke is above, beyond and in a whole other universe compared to Diet Pepsi. Sorry Taco Bueno, but THEY ARE NOT THE SAME AND PEOPLE DO NOTICE.
2. Even if deep-fried, a scorpion is still a scorpion. You don’t have to eat it. Even if you may never go to China and get the chance again. It’s okay – humans aren’t supposed to eat things with stingers.
3. I am married to the very best, most wonderful, sexiest, brilliantest man out there.
4. Be comfortable in your own skin. Even if your own skin has a weird sense of sarcastic humor, is a little too generous in the thighs and hips region and is very, very pale. As my friend Sandra says, “You are one of a kind.” Be you.
5. That being said, sometimes it’s really hard to be comfortable in your own skin. I think that’s totally okay and perfectly normal. Because I’m so normal in other areas of my life, anyway.
6. Curling your eyelashes before you mascara is always the right choice.
7. I want to travel. I want to go to Thailand and Greece and Prague and Australia and Brazil and the South of France and Tokyo and South Africa and Italy (for the wine, obviously) and everywhere else.
8. Sometimes… Not always… But every so often… It’s possible that Andy is somewhat, a small percentage, not entirely wrong about things.
9. If you call it a “board,” it’s not only appropriate but classy to eat cheese for dinner.
10. The wine never truly ends. There are always more boxes.
11. Family is important. Love them hard.
12. There is no limit to the things I can accomplish with enough caffeine. Okay, yeah. Or wine.
13. Miss Fancy Pants is the very best snuggler.
14. Andy is an evil genius and I am plotting my revenge.
15. I want NEED a dog. I think a dog and the wild animal monster kitties would get along famously.
16. No matter how much I want it back, Gilmore Girls is over.
17. Cooking is my jam – I love few smells more than that of chopped onion and garlic sautéing in butter. OMG now I’m drooling. In related news, everyone’s invited to my house for dinner.
18. Crowded areas are not my jam. Except in Canton. But even then I only mildly tolerate them, and have been known to nip the heels of slow-moving pedestrians with my shopping cart.
19. I am running out of wisdom to share – this could have something to do with all the $3 Chuck. THANKS NANA AND PAPA FOR SABOTAGING MY WRITING SKILLS just kidding I love you so much.
20. Happiness is a choice (in my humble opinion). Sometimes life gets tough, but your happiness is completely up to you. Now is the part where I say something cliché like “life’s not about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.” You’re welcome.
21. Sometimes I need to get over myself, be less stubborn and admit that I’m wrong. This one’s a work in progress.
22. Cheesecake > all the other cakes. But Mom’s banana pudding > EVERYTHING ELSE YOU COULD EVER EAT EVER.
23. YOLO. Yes, I’m serious. (I was totally using it before Drake – well, not the abbreviation, but the phrase – I really should be getting royalty payments or something.) This is the Jedi mind trick I used to talk myself into eating aforementioned (no. 2) deep-fried scorpion in China.
24. Shark Week is the best week of the year. Second ONLY to Lindsaypalooza, which everyone knows is an international season of joy and peace.
25. Celebrate your birthday for extended periods of time, without shame. Maybe even put it in your blog. You know, two days after the fact.
Hugs, kisses and pinot grigio,
The Wife in Training