On pants, true love and guacamole

Sometimes in life you reeeeeeally need Chipotle. But then also sometimes in life you can’t be bothered with pants. And Chipotle generally prefers their patrons to wear pants.

Or so I hear.

Tonight I made yummy DIY Chipotle-style burrito bowls. First start with rice. And cilantro, naturally.

ALL OF IT.

Turns out you can make rice in not-the-microwave. Who knew?

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Husband was totally disinterested, but I love me some black beans. Whatever, it’s not all about him. Cook them with some jalapeno salt and minced garlic and mmmm you’re really cooking now.

photo2I know I just said it wasn’t about Husband, now comes the part where I’m totally going to contradict myself. I like chicken; he prefers steak. Cooking both seems like a huge commitment, and I mean it’s not like I just got married and made the biggest most permanent commitment of my life or anything, so steak it is.

photo3Now the best part: guacamole. I kind of freeball it each time I make it, depending on what I’ve got in the fridge/who’s eating it. I love to put diced red onion in, but again – Husband doesn’t like that. Because I am sooooo thoughtful and wifely, I used only avocado, cilantro (again, ALL of it) and lime juice. Oh, and alarming amounts of garlic salt.

It it doesn’t have garlic, it’s not worth your time. You are welcome.

photo4Now, build you a bowl, Son.

I don’t know why I just called you Son, you might very well be female.

Build you a bowl, Daughter.

Nope. Not the same at all.

Anywho, start with the rice. Remember that you added cilantro to the rice you so totally did not cook in the microwave? See how pretty it looks in your bowl…

photo5Next add black beans. As many as you want, because I once read on Guiliana Rancic’s twitter that black beans are like, the leanest protein ever so you can eat them endlessly and look as skinny and fabulous as she does.

photo6Aggressively throw the steak on top.

Or gently place it around the top so it is evenly distributed, almost as if you are posing it for a picture.

Weird, right?

photo7Add geeeeeenerous amounts of guacamole.

That’s still not enough.

*laughs maniacally* Muahahaha yeah that’s right, you know what I like – add some more.

photo8Toss on some cheese for good measure.

photo9Now eat it. It’s completely okay if you moan from sheer ecstasy. In fact, I’ll be offended if you don’t.

In case you were worried, Andy and I aren’t anorexic. It’s the weird angle of the bowls that makes it dwarf the food. (His plain white wedding registry item, not my colorful and normally-shaped bowls thank you very much.)

But I’m sure you’re not worried about our eating habits. Unless you fear that I am slowly giving us both catastrophic heart attacks, as documented here, here and here. In which case I would say you are probably right.

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